Elementary school. Math class. We learned about finding the common denominator. We had tests on it. We mastered it. Now, as an adult, I believe this is something that we have forgotten. It’s not so much numbers on a paper anymore, but it’s about life situations that we put ourselves in, and WHO causes it.

I was thinking about this a lot the other day. I have been in the same situations with other people, over and over again. I have let relationships get to a certain point and most the time, I have been the reason that they got that way. I have allowed certain things, I have pushed for certain things, and I have caused certain things. Then I began thinking – it’s me. I’m the common denominator. In every failed relationship, regardless of what anyone else did, I was the bottom line. I was the factor that was the same. I have my habits. I have my ways of letting people take advantage of me. I have my ways of not being able to let go of the past. And in every single relationship, I’ve let some part of my failures creep in and take over. I don’t believe I have always realized what the common denominator was, until now.

I know people that have went through relationships as well, with the same outcome. It just doesn’t work. They end up in the same position that they started. They push on certain things, they expect perfection when no one is perfect, and they aren’t willing to internalize and work on themselves. I believe that they might for a short time, but they always fall back into the same habits, mistakes, or issues that they have had in every other relationship. Again, the common denominator.

Last year and going into this year, has been such a time of reflection. I have learned so much about myself and realized, I have to look at my mistakes and not live in them. I have to grow from them. I can not do the same things that I have done over and over again and expect a different result. It’s the definition of insanity.