This is a great prompt, or a terrible one. I haven’t exactly decided yet.

A year ago. Let’s think of how my life looked a year ago. I feel like this time last year, I was . . . happy? Even if it were mindless/blindly, I was happy. Work was going pretty well. I had leaders in place and I feel like I was going in a good direction. I was close to my goal weight. My days were filled with the person I loved, the dogs that I loved, family, and friend. I wasn’t drinking. I was going to work, going home, and getting a good amount of sleep. I was lowering my debt, making money. I feel like my life was on a good track.

Clearly, 3 months later, everything turned to shit, but hey, that’s what 2020 has pretty much been for everyone, right? I don’t know. I feel like I was happy, but with the fear of everything falling apart in the back of my mind (which – happened). I am trying to stay positive, I am trying to think that everything happens for a reason, but does it?! Does it really?? Why do things happen the way they do? Why do things have to change? Why can’t people be happy and appreciate what they have when they have it? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll never know.

I guess – from a year ago – what I miss, I miss being blindly, mindlessly, happy. I miss the feeling of calm. The feeling of normal. The feeling of easy.